Identity Interruptus and the Conundrum of Modern Motherhood

It might seem slightly ironic that I start my kiwi-centric blog with a commentary on the latest issue of the Australian Women's Weekly (New Zealand Edition).  You see, along with the gorgeous cover featuring rowing's golden girls Georgina & Caroline and an exclusive preview of Portia DeGeneres' highly publicised autobiography,  two fantastic articles particularly stood out to me.  That's what I love about magazines - the hidden gems that you find between the pages.

Identity Interruptus can happen to the best of us and Danielle Spencer reveals her experience of motherhood (and her latest album) in an interview with Bryce Corbett titled
So much more than Mrs Crowe.   As a mother of two young children myself, I can identify with Danielle when she talks about it: the best known but least talked about aspect of motherhood.  

In the article, Corbett discusses how you can read a hundred parenting books, talk to a thousand mums and still come away none the wiser to the fact that, for a woman, having children means losing track of yourself, confusing for a time a large part of who you are and why you exist.
Sure, plenty of mothers will tell you the whole child-rearing caper is hard work and most will feel compelled to couch it with the qualifier that “it’s all worth it in the end”, but how many of them will admit how their sense of self is rocked? That, in the maelstrom of first-time parenthood, it’s all too easy for a mum’s sense of identity to slip away?

I feel that, like Danielle, I too have not had the clarity or the energy to juggle both child-rearing and career-building duties over the past 7 years.  Now as my kids stop being babies and hubby's career is soaring I feel like I've done the hard yards and it's time to be me again.  However, for me it's not as simple as going back to the career I had before, because I'm trying something new and this is the start of it - Blogging.  So I'm taking small steps to turn something that I am passionate about (reading magazines and sharing them with others) into a hobby and possibly a career.   

And so it was with some relief that I turned a few pages to find another gem: Am I the world's worst mother? by Susan Horsburgh.  A hilariously honest account of motherhood by a mother of two, with a third on the way.  She describes motherhood as more like a battlefield than a lifestyle choice "a hotbed of competition, insecurities and failure".  I think i giggled to myself from start to finish.  It was all too true.  Thank goodness for writers like Susan, blogs like Not Drowning, Mothering and TV shows like Nigel Latta's Politically Incorrect Parenting. 

Just the other day I was telling my sister how I cleaned the house while my daughter was reading her book, then I decided to fess up and admit she was actually playing games on my iPhone.

The November 2010 Australian Women's Weekly (New Zealand Edition) is on sale now (RRP$7.20)